Check out this site for a giggle or two.

http://www.nwthclub.com/forum/index.php?topic=5.0

I like to keep things original on this blog. Breaking this rule, I’d like to share one of my favorite old jokes.

Question: What is the definition of a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

Answer: Someone who stays up all night long trying to decide if there really is a Dog.

The following are my thoughts alone. I’d like to use the thoughts of others but all of the rental places are closed at this hour.

It appears Britons have voted to exit the European Union. British Prime Minister, David Cameron (who fought hard against such a move), has just resigned (effective in October). I expect he will pick up his ball and go home…where he’ll hold his breath until he turns blue.

Barack Obama was just handed some bad news, as well, by the Supreme Court, on his unconstitutional immigration overreach. But, alas, he has no balls and would have a hard time turning blue. Note: Let us not confuse the above with “blue balls”, which is an entirely different subject and probably not to the casual reader’s taste…uh…I mean preference.

UPDATE: Now, the British are in an uproar. They are blaming everything and everyone for the Brexit vote outcome, (Including pollsters). A petition is being circulated pushing London to secede from the rest of England so that city can remain in the EU. Much nervousness. Much hand wringing. While maintaining stiff upper lips, much lower lip quivering, much underpants laundering. Too much tea. It is unfortunate the royal family stays apolitical. (Smart for them, unfortunate for the unwashed masses). If Prince William would have made his preference known (and why), I’m sure all of Great Britain would be at ease. They like him and with good reason. He has youngsters who will have to live with this outcome, after all. Also, we might all get to see what Kate is wearing today.

Now to the meat of the matter:  Human Nature. Continue reading HUMAN NATURE →

See previous posts for earlier Zodiac signs.

SIGN: LIBRA

LIBRA is the intellectual sign of “THE SCALES”. Living their lives on an even keel, those born between September 23rd and October 22nd are said to possess judicial precision in their peace loving lives. It is important to remember that signs of the Zodiac only afford us a guess-timation (if that) of a person’s true demeanor. Some folks fly completely in the opposite direction. Debbie Wasserman Shultz (born September 27th) is a Libra and probably has scales.

NOTE: Mahatma Mohandas Gandhi (born on October 2nd) was a good example of a Libra, but a lousy dresser. Kim Kardashian (born on October 21st) is a well dressed Libra who stylishly wears Kevlar garments in case of figure enhancement explosions.

SUB-SIGN: COMET

Comet is the icy sub-sign of Libra often noted as “THE SPOTLESS SINK”. Entities born on October 2nd often try to live their lives through astral projection. Always in a rush, they may bump into others on occasion. Directionally sure of themselves, they may, at times, have difficulty telling their heads from their tails. Statistics indicate some are female.

NOTE TO MY WIFE: I know you weren’t born on October 2nd. Now, please let me get back to watching “The Big Bang Theory”.

“THE DREAM”                                                                                                                                                           by p. t. Chauncey McGinnis

It was chilly (about forty degrees) a little damp and overcast.                                                             I was on a walkway at a wire mesh (not screen) gate/door to which I had the key. I guess I was some sort of scientist because it was my desire to go through the door and down several flights of metal stairs (partially open to the elements at each landing and ultimately culminating at a lower street level)) to the “lab” (part way down)), where I’d apparently been earlier and must have forgotten to complete some task. I unlocked the gate, and looking down, could see it was very foggy. Through the mist, I could see the figure of a guy making his way up the stairs. He soon emerged, wearing a gray mid-thigh length overcoat, fedora and scarf. He nodded at my presence and passed by. As I was about to head down the stairs, I spied another figure coming up. She came into view and I recognized her to be Jennifer Aniston. She wore a form-fitting brown leather jacket which was about belt length, a knitted, floppy hat, a thick scarf, black slacks and high heels. Apparently we knew each other because she bade me hello, using my first name. As she passed, the gate  closed behind her. Luckily, it didn’t latch. I’d put my key back in my pocket. So, I pushed it open ready to head down the stairs, but stopped when I saw another figure emerging from the mist. As he came into view, I realized it was the same guy as before. Then another figure came up. It was Jennifer Aniston…again. She said, “Hi”, made a right turn and began to travel along the walkway. Continue reading THE DREAM →

See previous posts for earlier Zodiac signs.

SIGN: VIRGO

VIRGO is the intellectual sign of “THE VIRGIN”. People whose birthdays fall between August 23rd and September 22nd are said to be delicate and humane as well as analytical and methodical. Dr. Ben Carson (born on September 18th) fits this profile well.

NOTE: I would love to “roast” Dr. Ben as I have done and will do with other politicians. However, he is not a politician. Ergo, the problem lies in finding his faults. I’d love to see him drunk, but he could probably polish off a fifth of Jack Daniels and still remain sober. How boring is that?

Bernie Sanders (born September 8th) is also a Virgo. And whatever else anyone might say of him, he is nothing if not humane. I tried roasting Bernie in my mind with thoughts of  the Liberals’ stance on the Second Amendment, but couldn’t get past his own state of Vermont’s gun control laws. They are the least restrictive in the nation. You can’t get a concealed weapons permit in Vermont if you try. It’s not required. Vermont has the lowest gun murder rate (per 100,00 residents) of any state.

SUB-SIGN: URANUS

Uranus is the non-intellectual sign of “MY WHAT?!”. Both boys and girls born on August 30th may be likely to remain chaste (virgins) longer than most. And are often home-schooled…or unattractive.

Note: Obviously none of this applies to folks born in India, Bangladesh or West Virginia.

WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY?                                                                                                                                 by p. t. Chauncey McGinnis

They are shaped like a sunny-side up egg…or flying saucer, if you will, and feel like rubber. They are about eight inches in diameter and two toned in coloration. The flat part is off-white and veined (like a bloodshot eye).  The globular center is  a very deep red. They move like an inchworm, but not so pronounced. The center rises a little bit and then flattens back down, moving the thing about a quarter of an inch each time. They can climb up vertical surfaces and across ceilings. They stick to things, but are not slimy. They can jump short distances, like onto the back of your neck from a wall. They might be related to leeches because they suck blood. And they can kill…either by a number of them sucking all the blood from someone or by smothering the person. One is not deadly by itself, I don’t think. Although I don’t know if they carry any diseases. They are particularly dangerous to sleeping people because their bites are completely painless and won’t wake you as they cover your face. When you discover one in your house, you can bet there are hundreds hiding nearby.

I researched and can’t find any reference to them anywhere…so I don’t know what they’re called. I’ve seen them many times before. Always when I’m dreaming. When I awaken, they are all back in hiding. The Clark Pest Control guy thinks I’m nuts…and told me so in no uncertain words. I would agree with him except for all these little bite marks and my anemia.

Yes, if you are wondering, I did just awaken from such a dream. I see no new bite marks. At least none on the front of me. Can’t see what’s on my back though. I won’t bother my wife to check me at this hour. Maybe in the morning…after I wash the blood off my sheets.

It is said that a person’s eyes are the windows to their soul. With that thought in mind, I decided to look more closely into the eyes of some politicians as they spoke on TV to see what I could see. The results (in no particular order) follow: Continue reading EYES ARE THE WINDOWS TO THE SOUL →

See previous posts for earlier Zodiac signs.

SIGN: LEO

LEO is the intellectual sign of the LION.  People born between July 23rd and August 22nd are said to be outgoing, charming, and creative. Most strikingly, they are also said to possess fiery personalities and tend toward the dramatic side. I mean really dramatic. God! Oh so dramatic! Be still, my wildly beating heart. William Jefferson Clinton (born on August 19th) is a Leo. So is Judge Lance Ito; but who cares?

NOTE:  “Leo the Lion” was and is  the mascot and logo of MGM Hollywood film fame and no stranger to drama and being fiery. Actually, there were several lions who assumed this stage name. Samuel Goldwyn ( born to a Jewish family in Warsaw, Poland in 1879 ), Marcus Lowe ( born in New York City a year after his Jewish parents emigrated from Poland ) and Louis B. Mayer ( born a Russian Jew in Belarus ) formed MGM Studios ( Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer ) 1n 1924 and continued to use the “Leos” as the face of their company from prior film endeavors. Continue reading YOUR HOROSCOPES #5 →

Orlando has suffered more than its share of media fodder lately.

An alligator drowned a two year old boy at Walt Disney World. The dad was injured trying to rescue his son. I truly grieve for the child’s family. I don’t think there is any reason for me to comment further on this heartbreaking tragedy. Continue reading BALLS →