The  politics of trying to dethrone Trump have gotten boring. Until someone actually pins something on the guy, it’s simply business as usual. Maybe it’s time to switch rails and delve into something deeper and more meaningful, such as: Why are there so few attractive feet?

I mean, come on! How often do you see a foot (much less a pair of feet) that makes you think, “Gee, I wish I had feet like that.”? Not often, I’ll bet.

Let’s discuss the pros and cons of different types of feet. In the process, let’s avoid issues of too many or too few toes. But, as to toes, there are myriad types. Those with so many joints, they can curl up like a pangolin. Those that are so short they don’t touch the ground, even when one is lying prone during a traffic stop. Those that are spaced apart enough where another additional set could be hammered in between the existing ones. Great toes (why do the call them “great”?), which resemble boat oars or crullers. Pinkie toes that are nothing more than a tiny nail crazy glued to the side of the foot. Also, why is it that pinkie toes, if they are visible, all grow at an angle; as though they’re intent on escape? And what about the toes that are not graduated in size? What happens when the toe adjacent to the pinkie toe is twice the length of all the others, combined? That’s when I make use of my cellular phone’s camera.

Heels. Ah. now there’s a subject for study. Some heels are rather slender compared to the rest of the foot. Some are bulbous. Some look like a flat tire. The the type of heel which extends some distance to the rear makes it look like you could fit another foot into a high heel. They also tend to squash the backs of sneakers.

Arches and soles. Flat feet are neat because a person gifted with them can kill a spider with any part of their sole. High arches are neat because some people like spiders. Medium arches, aside from being the most comfortable, are also the most common and, thus, don’t fetch a high price at market.

Almost all feet have at least one peculiarity. That’s why God invented shoes.