The only humane way to go through puberty is in a medically induced coma.

Chicken soup is no substitute for a good old fashioned slap upside the head.

I heard somewhere the name, Wilma, translates into, “Look what I stepped in!”, in some foreign language. Why would anyone choose such a name for their chinchilla?

It’s a good thing screw on kneecaps was just a fad.

Why do they call them toadstools? Toads use benches.