There are lots of things you CAN’T do, even if you put your mind to it.

You are NOT only as old as you feel unless you feel your age.

You CAN’T be too smart for your own good.

A stitch in time may save 36 (or any multiple of 9).

A penny saved is simply that, a penny saved. (Even if you swiped it).

A bird in the hand can get messy (especially if it is a live duck). Also, it is only worth market value.

The larger they are, the harder YOU fall.

It CANNOT rain cats and dogs. It would be just as likely to rain post cards and feet. It can only rain “rain”. That’s why it’s called “rain”.

Absence makes the heart useless.

There are too many things that are better than a “poke in the eye with a sharp stick” to count.

Money can’t buy misery either.

A straight line is the shortest distance between two punch lines.

Moss be damned. A rolling stone gathers squat.

Pride cometh before “prie-dieu”. Ask Webster.