I’m not getting any younger.

I went to see my doctor the other day to find out what is wrong with me. I have aches and pains all the time now. Every time I visit him, I enjoy showing off how much I know about his line of work. I speak to him in his own lingo.

I said, “Doc, I get headaches sometimes. Is there something in my craymien that’s doing that? Perhaps my abdulla oblomonga is swollen or my pitayitory gland needs work? Should you do an electroensnaphlagreph? He smiled.

I said, I’m also having problems with my pre-formance in the sack. I know I have an enlarged prostrate. Sometimes I have premature e-jacko’lantern. Do you think that’s the cause of my pterodactyl dysfunction? He shrugged and said, “Dunno.”

I told him about my hammeroids and asked him if he wanted me to bare my gluteus maxwellhouse. “Won’t be necessary,” he said.

“The last time you were in, weren’t you complaining about some sort of sports injury? “Wasn’t it tennis elbow?” “Golf balls.”, I said. “Oh, yes, I see that in your chart. I stand corrected.”, he mumbled.  “And how are they feeling now?” “Teed off!” I yelled.

“So”, I demanded, “What the hell is going on with me???”

“Well, two things”,” he chuckled. “First, you’re getting a little older. Second, you were educated in California.”