On July 4th, Ridgecrest, California experienced an earthquake which measured 6.1 on the Richter scale. This was followed by over 100 aftershocks. On July 5th, the same area of southern California experienced another, even stronger quake measuring 7.1 on the Richter scale. More strong aftershocks followed and will continue for some time. There were fires, damage to roadways and some injuries.

I try to stay away from prognostication. I don’t claim to be able to foretell the future; but if I were to try to do so, I would expect California governor, Gavin Newsom, to ban earthquakes altogether. I think the legislature would easily ratify Newsom’s declaration and quickly pass a bill creating a new law.

Californian’s will not be allowed to have an earthquake. Henceforth, it will be illegal to import earthquakes from any other state or nation without a special permit. These permits would be issued by lottery and limited to applicants who submit haikus written to berate and demonize the National Rifle Association. The haikus will be submitted to and be  judged by philosophy students attending U.C. Berkeley.

The  biased label “earthquake” will be deemed inappropriate and hateful language and will be stricken from public and official discourse. Use of the “E” word will no longer be tolerated and will be justifiable cause for termination from employment and subject to a $250,000.00 fine and/or 36 months in jail.  It shall be replaced by the more appropriate and politically correct term, “temblor”. The non-word “tremblor” may continue to be used by those in the news media because they don’t know any better.

In the event a temblor purposely enters California illegally, with full understanding of the law, it will be immediately entitled to issuance of a California driver’s license and full, free  healthcare benefits as well as protections from its feelings being hurt by the threat of deportation until it has completed its damage. At this point, it will be able to vote and run for public office.

I know there are some prejudiced folks out there who will consider this legislation to be absolutely ridiculous, but those haters mustn’t forget that California will be the first state in the nation to enact this law and will continue to lead the nation with this type of progressive policies . That is, after all, the most important thing.

Quoting Californian, Nancy Pelosi on similar legislation, “We have to pass the bill in order for you to find out what’s in it, away from the fog of controversy.”