I went to see my primary care physician last week to have an abscess on my rear end lanced. Instead, the doc gave me a big long harangue about my smoking. I told her I wasn’t there to discuss my tobacco use. It didn’t matter; she did a live commercial for Chantix. She asked me if I knew smoking causes cancer. I said, “Yes.” She asked me if I was depressed and trying to hurt myself. I said, “No.” The whole episode made me so irritated, as soon as I got my throbbing butt outside, I lit up a cigarette.

The infection burst open a few hours later.

Kaiser’s catchword is: “THRIVE”. I guess it’s the thought that counts.