WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY?                                                                                                                                 by p. t. Chauncey McGinnis

They are shaped like a sunny-side up egg…or flying saucer, if you will, and feel like rubber. They are about eight inches in diameter and two toned in coloration. The flat part is off-white and veined (like a bloodshot eye).  The globular center is  a very deep red. They move like an inchworm, but not so pronounced. The center rises a little bit and then flattens back down, moving the thing about a quarter of an inch each time. They can climb up vertical surfaces and across ceilings. They stick to things, but are not slimy. They can jump short distances, like onto the back of your neck from a wall. They might be related to leeches because they suck blood. And they can kill…either by a number of them sucking all the blood from someone or by smothering the person. One is not deadly by itself, I don’t think. Although I don’t know if they carry any diseases. They are particularly dangerous to sleeping people because their bites are completely painless and won’t wake you as they cover your face. When you discover one in your house, you can bet there are hundreds hiding nearby.

I researched and can’t find any reference to them anywhere…so I don’t know what they’re called. I’ve seen them many times before. Always when I’m dreaming. When I awaken, they are all back in hiding. The Clark Pest Control guy thinks I’m nuts…and told me so in no uncertain words. I would agree with him except for all these little bite marks and my anemia.

Yes, if you are wondering, I did just awaken from such a dream. I see no new bite marks. At least none on the front of me. Can’t see what’s on my back though. I won’t bother my wife to check me at this hour. Maybe in the morning…after I wash the blood off my sheets.