My boss told me I need a vacation. He said, “Get your ass out’ta here!”                                     I’ve taken my ass with me on vacation every year, and I’ve always picked up the tab. This year, we’re going “Dutch”.

I was thinking of visiting New York City again. Then I stopped. I feel much better now.

I was going to go on a month long vacation camping trip to Mt. Saint Helens in May of 1980, but went to New York City instead. We all make mistakes.

New York City is called “The Big Apple” because it was the acme of horse racing in the 1920s. The winning purse was referred to as the “apple”. New York offered the largest prizes, thus, “The Big Apple”. I think this to be outdated. Perhaps it should be renamed for its aromatic ambience, “The Big Durian” (also known as “The King of Fruits”).

I grew up in New York. It is a great place to be FROM. And I would be the last person to dissuade a potential visitor from going there. It’s exciting, a little like a shark bite . Until you’ve experienced it, you’ll never know what you’re missing.

This year my ass and I are going on a luxury cruise to exotic Haiti.